


Love and trust

by laireshi



Category: Iron Man (Comic), Marvel 616
Genre: Angst, Civil War II, Consent Issues, Getting Together, Hydra Cap, Hydra Steve Rogers, M/M, Not A Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-28 07:34:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7630918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laireshi/pseuds/laireshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony's always known Steve loving him was too good to be true.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love and trust

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Comicsohwhyohwhy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Comicsohwhyohwhy/gifts).



> **Please notice the "Chose not to warn" tag. There are specific warnings in the end notes; please consult them if you could be triggered.**
> 
> Mushroom made a [beautiful art](http://mushroomhobbit.tumblr.com/post/152511166699/scene-between-hydracap-and-tony-from-laireshis) for this!!! Tell her it's the best!   
>  
> 
> Spoilers for CW II #4.
> 
> Thanks for beta to Comicsohwhyohwhy (I BLAME YOU FOR EVERYTHING).
> 
> A fill for the "natural disaster" square on my bingo card.

The meeting is finally over, if _over_ is the right description for the way Carol stormed off. It hasn’t been a total disaster—Tony didn’t really hope to convince her or the Inhumans, and he’s glad Steve and Stephen both seem to agree with him. But it hasn’t been easy, either. Tony sags against the wall, exhausted. No matter how relieved he’s about Steve not calling him a crazy villain, Tony _is_ worried about Carol, too. Someone touches his arm, pulling him out of his thoughts. Tony startles before he realises it’s Steve. 

“Hey,” Tony says. What reason could Steve have to stay with him? They’re barely friends anymore. This meeting must’ve reminded Steve of everything that had gone wrong between them so many times. They can work with each other professionally, but anything more than that is still a minefield.

“Thank you,” Steve says. Tony looks at him questioningly, and Steve continues, “I can see it’s hard on you. Hell, Tony, _everyone_ can see that. I’m worried. And here you are, still trying to save the situation, thinking of others first. Like you always do. Thank you.”

Tony blinks rapidly a few times. Did he pass out of exhaustion? Is he dreaming? “Steve, you can’t mean that.”

It’s different than just agreeing with Tony’s strategy. It’s almost like _forgiving_.

"You said you learnt to listen to me?" Steve asks.

Tony did, and he’s not going to go back on it. He knows he’s right in it. Steve always means best, and Steve will never hurt him. They might avoid this conflict yet, if Tony and Steve are together, if Tony listens to his advice. “Yes,” Tony says. “I mean it.”

“Then listen to me now,” Steve says. There’s a brief pause, but before Tony can ask, Steve leans in and kisses him.

There's something—off, about Steve’s movements. Too stiff. Tony makes a small sound of protest. “You don't—”

“Oh, I want you,” Steve drawls, and kisses him again. “Trust me.”

It’s everything Tony’s ever wanted, and everything he knew he would never have. That it’s happening now—it’s impossible.

 _I’m going to listen to Steve Rogers_ , he said—it’s important, even here, because it only means something if Tony doesn’t get to pick when to follow Steve. Who’s Tony to tell Steve he’s wrong, he doesn’t want him? Can’t he be selfish this one time?

Tony pulls Steve in and kisses him back, and it’s perfect.

***

Steve takes Tony back to his apartment, later.

“You’ve been sleeping in your lab ever since the Tower went down, haven’t you?” It’s not really a question, and Tony can only shrug helplessly. Mostly, he hasn’t slept at all, trying to find a solution to too many problems all at once.

“Thought so,” Steve says. Like he really cares. He kisses Tony again when they cross the door, almost chastely, and then stands close to him, radiating heat.

Tony’s really exhausted and that’s the only excuse he has for catching up that late. He deflates. “Oh,” he says in a small voice. “ _Oh_.” He puts his hand flat on Steve’s chest, pushes him away. “I’m sorry.”

Steve looks annoyed for less than a second, and rightly so. But when he schools his expression, he still doesn’t seem calm, just— _hurt_ , and this doesn’t make any sense. 

“Did I scare you?” Steve asks. “What’s wrong?”

“I—” Tony can’t look him in the eyes. “I misunderstood you. I’m—I’m really tired, okay, Steve, I don’t think I can have sex with you now, I’ll just go—”

“Tony,” Steve says very slowly. “Who said anything about sex?”

Tony wonders which one of them is going crazy. “You kissed me! I thought—” He stops himself. He won’t be that pathetic.

“What _did_ you think, Tony?” Steve asks.

 _No more lies_ , Tony thinks. “I thought you—liked me,” he settles on saying. “That you wanted—more than a one night stand.” His voice trembles. “Because—I am too tired for sex now, I’m not lying. But to be completely honest, I don’t think I could have just a sex thing with you, casual with no strings attached.” Steve’s still looking at him like he doesn’t understand, so Tony barrels on. He can’t very well dig himself a deeper hole here. “I love you, Steve. I thought—”

Steve puts a finger to Tony’s mouth, silencing him. “This is what I meant,” Steve says and smiles, just for a moment. “A relationship. With you. I—I’ve always loved you.” Somehow this sounds more honest than anything else he’s said today. “I still do. But right here, right now, I wanted you to rest. Sleep. Just that. You’re dead on your feet, Tony. Anything else, we can talk about later.”

This is too beautiful to be true, and yet. Steve doesn’t lie.

Tony smiles weakly. “I’m an idiot?”

“I could’ve been more clear too,” Steve says, and it’s the same thing as earlier, _off_. Too . . . observational. As if he’s talking about training here.

God, Tony’s really out of it if he starts reading into every word Steve says _like that_. He should be happy.

He _is_ happy. He just needs sleep.

“Thank you,” Tony whispers, and Steve smiles at him briefly.

Then he turns his back to Tony, but reaches back with his hand. Tony takes it, and Steve leads him to the bedroom and leaves him there.

***

Tony saves the innocent woman from Carol’s cell, and all hell breaks loose. 

This is exactly what he wanted to avoid. He thought he could, with Steve at his side—but Steve said there was no other choice but to use Nightcrawler’s abilities. That even if Carol retaliated, they’d have saved an innocent woman—because there was no way she was Hydra—and that was worth everything. 

It should be, Tony thinks, but he can’t bring himself to up his repulsors against his friends. 

Carol smashes his faceplate. He’s kinda glad for that. Maybe he’ll—

Steve pushes her off Tony, and the fight goes on.

***

“It’s like you want to lose it,” Steve says later, when they’re both back at his apartment—alive, both of them, but not thanks to Tony. “Tony. You know very well how much depends on us stopping Ulysses. Who will he say is dangerous next? You? Me?”

“I’m sorry,” Tony whispers. He never wanted to fight his friends. Clearly, he will have to do it, again and again.

Steve kisses him then. “I’m sorry,” he says. “It was difficult for all of us.”

Tony nods unhappily, and Steve kisses him again and again, pushes him to the bed.

“Let me relax you,” Steve says, running his hands down Tony’s chest, finding the undersuit zippers with ease.

Tony reaches for him, pulls him closer, lets Steve’s weight ground him. 

Steve takes him apart with his mouth and his fingers until Tony’s a writhing mess no longer capable of coherent speech, and then, when Steve finally fucks him, Tony can just cry; too many sensations all at once, and he can’t deal with any of them, and he just wants Steve to stay with him.

Steve kisses his tears away. 

“I love you,” he says. “I need you.”

Tony comes, and he clings to Steve; the one person he still trusts.

***

They’re in the ruins of the Tower. Not a very private place, all things considered, but Tony’s spent hours brooding there; everyone has long since stopped paying any attention to Iron Man standing in the rubble.

Captain Marvel would turn more heads, but Carol’s in her civvies now. She’s very pale. Tony isn’t sure he cares anymore.

“How’re you holding up?” is the first thing he asks, because of course he always lies to himself. 

She shakes her head. “This isn’t why—there’s something I need to tell you, Tony.”

Tony frowns. They’re fighting a war. What could make her call him to meet in secret like that?

“It’s Steve,” Carol says. She hugs herself tight. “It’s—Ulysses had a vision.”

“Is something going to happen to Steve?” Tony asks very slowly. Ulysses’ visions are nothing more than profiling, but that doesn’t mean Tony can’t warn Steve. ( _Warn_. Not arrest the person who’s supposed to hurt him. There is a difference. He wishes Carol would see it.)

She shakes her head. Her eyes are red. “Not—exactly.”

“Well, Carol?”

She bites her lip, and then she recites the sentence quickly, as if it’s an order she doesn’t like. “Ulysses saw Steve kill you.”

Tony waits a beat, but she doesn’t say anything else. He’s not sure what to say. Steve? Kill him? He can’t help it; he laughs. “Really, Carol? Really?” He grows angry, suddenly, as he starts to understand. “Is that your attempt to break us up? Do you want to weaken me so you can win here? Is that it?”

“We might be fighting,” Carol says, “but you _are_ my friend, Tony. Tell me Steve hasn’t been acting off and I’ll drop it.”

 _Steve kissed him_ is Tony’s first thought, and it’s just as ridiculous as Carol’s accusation. “It’s _Steve_ ,” Tony says. “I trust him.”

“What are you doing here, Carol?” a voice comes from a few metres away. _Steve’s_ voice. Why was he even here? Tony told him about the meeting, but _didn’t_ share the location . . . 

“I could ask you the same question, Steve,” Carol says. She straightens herself, and Tony’s not sure if it’s just a play of light, or if she’s glowing with restrained power, ready to defend herself—or attack Steve.

Tony has another question first. He turns to Steve. “Did you follow me here?”

“After a while,” Steve agrees. “I want to trust her, but—I was worried, Tony. You would’ve done the same.”

Tony wants to argue, but that’s the truth. He would’ve, wouldn’t he? He takes a deep breath. There’s just one thing to do, here.

“Ulysses saw you kill me,” Tony says. “That’s it. Can we go home now?”

Steve tenses for a second, and Tony immediately grows uneasy. Then Steve looks down, unhappy. “I’ve learnt from the first war, too,” he whispers. “We agree now, and I’m very happy about that. But if we didn’t—I wouldn’t fight you, Tony. I won’t hurt you.”

Tony doesn’t remember the war, but he does remember the pictures, and he’s sure this is what Steve means now: Captain America holding the shield over Iron Man, ready to kill.

“I know,” Tony says simply.

“Tony,” Carol pleads. “Just—be careful.”

He’s still annoyed, but she did seek him out to warn him. She didn’t just go after Steve. “Yeah,” Tony says. “You too.”

Carol nods, and sets off.

Tony looks at Steve. “Want me to fly you home?”

Steve shakes his head. “I might as well check something,” he says. “I’ll be back soon.”

Tony considers this for a long while. He _trusts_ Steve, but secrets now? After what Carol said? He _could_ follow Steve. Except, Tony hasn’t had any doubts before Carol’s revelation—and this was the whole point of it, wasn’t it? Even if Ulysses had that vision, it wasn’t true yet. This, here, is how any of his predictions become true: with spreading fear and unease. Like with Bruce. He wouldn’t have hurt anyone if they had just let him be.

Tony’s a scientist. He trusts Steve. 

“Okay,” Tony says, and flights straight home.

***

Carol wants to detain Spider-Man, this time. Tony fights her again.

Spider-Man ends up in hospital—he must be paying them _a lot_ to keep his identity secret—with multiple injuries. He’ll be fine, but it’s not just something he can shrug off. _At least he’s alive_ , Tony thinks darkly.

Tony’s not sure if Carol wanted to stop Spider-Man, or wanted to save him from harm. Does it even matter? Does she still need more reasons to see that she shouldn’t rely on Ulysses?

Tony’s so damn exhausted.

Steve fucks Tony long and slow that day, and as Tony’s drifting off to sleep, Steve slides out of the room.

Tony buries his face in the pillow.

***

The meeting is similar to the last one Tony called, that is to say—too similar to the Illuminati for anyone’s liking—except this time it’s Medusa speaking. Carol’s there too, and her eyes are red, as if she’s been crying. Tony wonders what’s wrong.

“Last night,” Medusa says, “Ulysses committed suicide.”

Tony gasps out in shock. He’s—he’s lost again. He has no idea at all what to think.

“We checked—we’re almost sure it wasn’t murder. He . . . left some letters.” She looks composed, but Tony knows she was maybe the one person who really cared about Ulysses _,_ not just about what his powers could do.

“What letters?” Tony asks quietly. This is important.

“Something about _responsibility_. Starting another civil war. Creating more conflict than he solved.” Medusa’s voice is growing colder as she speaks. “I thought you should know. All of you.”

She leaves, then, Lockjaw teleporting all the Inhumans away. 

Carol’s still inside the room, and crying. Tony looks at Steve.

For a split moment, he swears Steve doesn’t seem surprised. 

But it can’t be.

***

“Steve,” Tony asks when they’re alone at home again. Funny how quickly Steve’s apartment became _home_ to Tony, but something isn’t right now. Tony dreads the conversation.

“Yeah?”

“ _Where_ did you go when you left after Carol? And the last few nights . . . Where have you been?”

Steve raises a corner of his mouth in a crooked smile. “Why?”

“You weren’t surprised, today.” Tony steels himself. He has to be wrong. But if he isn’t . . . He has to know, find an explanation, solve it, _fix it_.

Steve smiles fully, but it mostly looks empty now. He turns back to Tony, strips off his shirt with a few efficient movements. “I guess,” Steve says, all fake calm, “Ulysses was right.” He turns back.

Tony’s eyes widen. He’s—he’s not sure what he is, really, but he doesn’t have any time to wonder about that. He calls his armour to him, as fast as he can.

“Armour override,” Steve says almost as if he’s bored. “34-44-54-64.”

The half-assembled armour falls into pieces. Tony freezes as Steve walks towards him.

“The war was your fault,” Steve says. “Good moment to trust me, Tony, I’ll give you that. Shame Rhodey had to die. If only you _got_ into that morality debate with me then.”

“No,” Tony whispers. _No_.

“Do you think you could’ve saved Bruce if you’d had the armour?” Steve asks, just a few steps away from Tony. “Luckily, it was safe with me.”

“You said you loved me,” Tony says, and it would be funny, if it wasn’t so heart-breaking. “I should’ve known.”

“Yes,” Steve agrees, pressing his hand against Tony’s throat. Tony can’t find the strength or _will_ to fight him. “You really should’ve. You caught up sooner than I expected, if that makes you feel better.”

Tony’s slowly losing oxygen, but one thing is still crystal clear in his vision: the black Hydra symbol painted on Steve’s naked chest.

“You are wrong, though,” Steve whispers. “I really love you. I always have.”

It’s like he means it. Tony thinks there are tears on Steve’s face, but it must be an illusion. The grip of Steve’s hands around his throat is vice-like.

Then Steve leans in, until he’s centimetres from Tony’s face. “Hail Hydra,” he says, and this sounds like a lie.

It doesn’t matter.

Everything is far away.

Everything is black.

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings:
> 
> \- "consent issues" - as per current canon, Steve's brainwashed into thinking he's Hydra, therefore he can't really consent to any relationship. Tony enters a relationship with him without any knowledge of the Hydra situation, obviously, so he also can't consent 
> 
> \- Ulysses is said to have committed suicide; it's strongly implied that the brainwashed Steve murdered him
> 
> \- it's explicitly shown that the brainwashed Steve kills Tony


End file.
